Big Afro on Campus

I’ve been missing lately.

Missing myself. Missing my friends. Missing home.

But, above all, what I missed the most was the feeling of being confident again. Confident in my ability to listen, to learn and grow… confident in what I’ve come to believe makes me who I am. 

Life is like a series of fragmented episodes or chapters. My life, in particular, has consisted of days that feel like they wouldn’t be out of place in a near-incomprehensible stream-of-consciousness novella. Or perhaps, when I’m feeling a bit more chuffed about my ideas, my thoughts seem more akin to the run-on sentences of my idol, Mr. Stephen King (or Richard Bachman, if you appreciate a good alias like I do).

And so I run on and on and on and on and on and… wait, what was I saying again? 

Sorry, Ryan Reynolds face distracted me. Also, Deadpool suit. I (very clearly) digress…

 I’m back in London!

It had to be shouted, there was no alternative. To say I’m happy to be back in the 519 is a massive understatement – not to say that I don’t miss Thunder Bay either!

After all, Charlotte is still up there in the tundra (for a few more days at least); she recently got a promotion at work, so her hours have changed (i.e. she’s getting way more of them). Meanwhile, I had no exams and work has barely been scheduling me so I was itching to get down to Southern Ontario and see my famjam and start hanging with friends who I haven’t seen in millennia it seems. 

An entire semester has come and gone again except, this time, I’m actually finished. 

What I mean is… well, I FINISHED MY FREAKIN’ HONORS BACHELOR DEGREE IN ENGLISH!!! 

Whoo – okay – *cough cough* Sorry! Had to get that out of the way. 

I’m just in shock at how the time really has flown, as cliche as it sounds. No one can prepare you for the passage of time. Not really.

In the past year, I have done more writing than I have ever done in my life prior to university. To say I have grown immensely not only as a writer but also as a freethinking individual with the ability to critically assess a given situation or any material really. 

My world has expanded exponentially… and it only continues to grow! I’ll be starting my Master of Arts in English this January. 

I’ve written papers and seminars I’ve been proud of but none such as those I’ve written this year. The individuals I have surrounded myself with – who somehow, thank the universe, have allowed me to enjoy their company and share their time. From the beautiful, human, honest-hearted circle I have had the pleasure of being a part of in the form of English Student’s Association, to the quieter moments, the moments which gave me pause and made me reflect on my actions thus far – who I was and who I want to be. 

I have stared into the deep well of humanity like a giant Pensieve, collecting the memories, the experiences of mine and everyone else’s ancestors. Like any student in the humanities, resentment for humanity has licked me like a harsh stroke of flame biting – no, knawing at the edges of my mind. 

My anxiety for the world we all face is pressing but not overwhelming. I know that we can be the change. 

Perhaps, as Stephen King suggests in It (which I’ve almost finished reading!!!), mine is the generation that might just be able to course correct the fate of this planet. Can we truly succeed where the Baby Boomers might have failed (for lack of a better term)? Or is it symptomatic of the ‘human condition’ that we merely cope with our own destructiveness? 

University has left me with way more questions than answers about the world…

Yet, somehow, that makes me feel optimistic about what the humanities should be able to accomplish moving forward. The time will come, in the next ten to twenty years, where we will all look back and wonder – as we always seem to – why we are damned and why we damn ourselves; why oppressive power structures and outdated binaries continue to thrive in The Anthropocene. 

Don’t get me wrong though: I am optimistic. 

Call me naive, hurl insults, sticks and stones, blah blah blah…

I love the people in my life. I love the human experience. I’m thankful to be here and to be surrounded, as I said, but those I am surrounded by. 

My heart is always full. Perhaps that is why I’m always so damn emotional and conflicted and just waiting for someone to push me in the right direction – some Divine Force. 

Then I remember how little fun there is in that – in believing all of this is prescribed.

I’ll be heading back up to the Bay on January 5th… or maybe a day or two sooner (I got me some “Yeehaw Skyrim” to play through before I buckle down into my Master’s). 

My goal is to continue posting here consistently every couple weeks or so from now on. The only way to get better at this writing thing is to keep chopping away at it, I suppose.

For now, remember: you are awesome. I love you. Let’s make this big ol’ sphere a bit cozier for us all, okay? See you soon.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Austin Campbell (@afrotastic27)