Another late night at work brings me back to the blog. I guess I should have known I wouldn’t be able to keep my mind on my courses for very long.
Nonetheless, it feels good to be writing. Tomorrow is a big day for Charlotte and I: our fourth anniversary. I can’t even verbally express how incredibly odd and wonderful I feel all at once, especially since tomorrow will also be the anniversary of the day I proposed to her if all goes to plan.
There is one slight hitch though: Charlotte is sick. Yep, she randomly came down with strep throat over the course of last night so… here’s hoping tomorrow can still be as nice as I had hoped. Of course, the weather has chosen not to cooperate either. Things have only gotten slightly clusterfuckey (what is the point of being an English major if you can’t invent some words dammit?!). I’m still excited about the whole proposal (though it won’t be as big as I had originally envisioned) and about taking her to The Prospector Steakhouse for dinner (cause, let’s face it, I’m gonna order the biggest damn prime rib they have and devour it whole like my father would).
And here I am, at work and hoping tomorrow and the next few weeks goes decently well. I mean, tomorrow is the day I make my future official. As Erik would say, “we’ve past the point of no return.” And despite all of the hardships both Charlotte and I have already endured together and in our own separate lives, I honestly look forward to so many more of those moments, y’know? I’m talking about those moments where you’re absolutely miserable or angry or disappointed or upset for God knows whatever reason and then suddenly you realise it: I really, really, really want to spend the rest of my life with this person. Not only because of all of the good we’ve experienced but also because of the bad. That one bad day you had together was just as valuable as the good day because you either had an epiphany about the situation during the bad day that turned it all around or the next day was awesome and was made more so by comparison.
tl;dr – bad days make you appreciate the good.
And even beyond that, it’s a boost just knowing you’ve found someone with whom you can make it through bad days. Not everyone is capable of such a feat. Especially not together.
I don’t have any relationship advice to give you, really. I mean, I’m not perfect. Neither is she. We recognize that about each other. But we also recognize the fact that we’re both committed to this – to us – and having a future. To trust someone like that is immensely terrifying and gratifying all at once. Terrifying because, if you’re a highly insecure person such as myself, it can be hard to trust someone with your heart. Gratifying when the person you chose proves your insecurities wrong.
We really have been through a lot together.
thatfroninja. 